Who am I? What am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose for living?
These are a few questions I've been asking myself lately... I've failed to figure each of them out. (No, I'm not being emo, just curious.)
Who am I is quite simple. I'm Amanda. But it takes more than a name to define someone. For example... My purpose for living is something that can define me. But what's my purpose? My passion? Could it be animals? I love animals. I want to be involved with animals. But... does that really make it my passion?
I don't think I have a passion. There's nothing out there that... I'm so passionate about to where I'd do anything to accomplish my goal... or to own it. I've been trying to figure out something that I love to do and can call my great hobby, but everything I've tried so far as seem to have failed.
Drawing: I keep saying I want to draw, keep saying I'm going to someday, but... I'm not. I'm never going to. And... it's not because I don't have the patience... it's because I'm not passionate enough about it to actually practice. Photography: I love photography. I love taking pictures. This is something I do plan on continuing. I just want a nicer camera first. My camera sucks horribly. (I'm very aware it doesn't take a nice camera to take nice pictures. But you do have to admit that most nice pictures usually are taken with nice, professional cameras.)
Cosplay: I wanted to try cosplay, but that never happened. I haven't gotten the chance to go to an anime convention or anything. Dressing myself up... just isn't something that's me, I guess.
My next thing is dolls. Asian ball-jointed dolls. Dollfies. I've wanted one for like two-three years now. They're beautiful. And I've always liked dolls... Anything that had to do with dolls when I was little, I had to have it. I don't like dressing myself up, but as weird as it is... I always enjoyed dressing dolls up. Whenever I had dolls... that's really all I liked to do with them. Dress them up. The wonderful thing about ABJD's is they can pose, you can change their hair, and even their eyes. It's a doll-lovers dream doll.
Now... as for what am I... You're probably thinking, "You're human! DUH!" But am I really human? Can I really call myself human? Yes, I make mistakes, like all humans. But think about what the average human is like these days. What they like, the type of mistakes they make, and ect. I don't make extremely stupid mistakes and I don't do stupid things. Even if I'm still human... I don't like being human. I'm ashamed of humans. But I think that's a whole different story.
Sorry for the long journal... You'll probably find longer posts on my website sometime in the future. Haha.
- Mood:
Pain - Reading: Naruto
- Playing: Disgaea